1. Make room for your questions
Start by finding a healthcare provider or sexual health clinic where you feel able to talk openly. Before booking, you can ask whether the service has experience caring for gay and bisexual men, how appointments work, and what they cost.
You do not need to arrive knowing every term. A starting sentence could be: “I am new to dating men, and I want help planning testing and prevention.” Write down your questions, current medicines, and any symptoms before the visit.
MedlinePlus: Talking with your doctor
Try asking
- How is my information kept confidential, including results and billing?
- Which tests and sample sites fit the sexual contact I have had?
- How will I receive results, and who can I contact with questions?
2. Agree on a testing and prevention plan
Ask your clinician which tests, timing, and follow-up fit your circumstances. If you have had oral or anal sex, ask whether throat or rectal testing is relevant. There is no single testing schedule that fits everyone.
You can also ask whether PrEP is appropriate for you. PrEP reduces the chance of getting HIV, but does not prevent other STIs. Bring questions about DoxyPEP, condoms, and vaccines to the same conversation; your clinician can explain which options fit your situation.
CDC: Preventing HIV with PrEP · CDC: Taking a sexual history
3. Keep notes if they help you
A short sex journal can be a place for dates, encounters, boundaries you discussed, and questions you want to remember. You can use a notebook, a notes app, or a dedicated journal. Consider device access, storage, backups, and data handling before saving intimate details.
HookBook is one dedicated option for iPhone and iPad. Use the activity’s Notes field for reflections and questions, save a partner or record an anonymous-partner count, and revisit entries through the calendar or partner history. Activity tags are available with PLUS.
You can leave out names and locations. Keep only what is useful to you, and check for someone else’s identifying details before sharing a screenshot.
4. Put the agreed routine somewhere you will remember
Once you have a care plan, choose reminders you can use consistently. A calendar or reminder app may be enough. HookBook also supports medication and screening reminders, with medication records and screening records managed separately from activity entries.
Use medication reminders according to the plan you discuss with your clinician. HookBook does not prescribe a regimen, diagnose an infection, or determine whether an encounter was protected. A log is a memory aid; testing and clinical advice answer medical questions.
Start with one useful step
Choose one action: write a question for a clinic, book a conversation, or save a note about what you want from your next date. Add detail when it helps. You do not need to reconstruct your whole sexual history to get started.
If keeping a log feels overwhelming, make it simpler or take a break from it. There is no requirement to count partners or record every encounter. The purpose is to support the routine you choose.
Sources and corrections
This guide draws on the CDC and the U.S. National Library of Medicine’s MedlinePlus. These organizations have not reviewed or endorsed HookBook.
- MedlinePlus: Talking with your doctor
- CDC: Getting tested for STIs
- CDC: Taking a sexual history
- CDC: Preventing HIV with PrEP
- CDC: Preventing HIV with PEP
To flag an error in this guide, email [email protected]. For personal medical questions, contact a healthcare professional.
A place for your notes and reminders.
HookBook is free to download, with optional PLUS purchases. Start with a note or reminder that is useful to you.
